Reader Q&A #1 | Real change

Taking a break from social media is easy. Making a lasting change is a different thing entirely. This essay tackles the most common reason people get sucked back in after a social media detox and it comes down to one word: "break." If you frame your time offline as a temporary pause rather than a real change, you'll almost always return to the same habits. Here's how to shift your mindset, stretch your break into something permanent, and actually make it stick this time.

Building a community here is a really important part of Break Free from the Internet. Making the brave decision to leave social media or create more boundaries with your devices can feel isolating. It’s not the path for everyone — or they haven’t discovered that it’s their destiny yet. 

It’s yours though. That’s why you’re here. And I’m so glad to have you as a part of this community.

Q: I’ve taken breaks from social media before, but I always find myself sucked back in. How can I make real, lasting changes? 

This is undoubtedly a common experience. While choosing to leave social media for good might be rare, taking social media breaks isn’t a foreign idea. For some, merely taking a break for a few days or a week might get them out of their social media funk. They simply might need to step back every so often. Then, they can re-enter their relationship with a refreshed perspective.

For others, it’s not as simple. The first few days back on social media might feel normal, but before long, they’re feeding into the same unhealthy behaviors. They might intend to only “check in” on what they missed, then find they’ve been scrolling for an untold length of time. This was me. Maybe it’s you too?

The key word for this group of people is “break.” When we view something as a break, the intention is usually that you plan to return at some point in time. You might take a break when walking up a big hill. You might take a break from college to refresh your motivation. You might take a break from eating out to hit a new fitness goal. 

Sometimes we take a break, and we realize that we don’t want to go back to what we were doing before. This can take a lot of self-reflection and self-control. 

What I’m saying is this — when you take a break from social media, say you set it for 7 days, you’re likely focusing on hitting that goal: achieving 7 social media-free days. You need to shift your focus instead to noticing how you feel without social media, and then, considering if you can see yourself experiencing life without it. 

A few simple recommendations I’d add:

• Stretch your breaks to at least 30 days, but be open to pushing the finish line out longer.

• Change your password to something nonsense. Write it down and hide it or tell a trusted friend/family member. This will help with any temptations to log-in before your break is over. 

• Pursue a new hobby or take on a new project. You have to replace your scrolling time with something else. 

If you do decide you want to return to social media, I challenge you to reflect on how you want to use the apps moving forward. You got to this point because you wanted change. If you’re returning, you’ll need to set and keep new boundaries to ensure your relationship doesn’t devolve again. 

Though maybe you’ll discover that your life is much richer offline. 

If you want a more structured path to change, try out one of our courses or a 1:1 consult. I’d love to help you make a change that will truly last.