Q&A #8 How do I recover after backtracking on my progress?
Slip-ups happen. How do you get back on the horse?
Setting goals is the easy part of any new habit-change. I’m an expert at setting goals! I could fill notebooks of things I’d like to achieve and the general steps that I’d need to follow to succeed.
The real challenges? Starting. Following-through. Staying committed. And most importantly, recovering after falling off course.
Today’s reader question is near and dear to my heart because I’ll be honest - I slip up a lot. But one simple mindset-shift has changed the way I look at achieving my goals.
Q: I haven’t been on social media in weeks, but last weekend, I spent all my downtime mindlessly scrolling on Instagram and TikTok. I’m beating myself up. How can I get back on the horse?
First and foremost, this is so normal. Do not beat yourself up. Success is never linear. Every day cannot possibly be perfect, there are too many factors involved. You would have to be a super human to only have good days starting day 1.
For this reason, I don’t subscribe to “streaks” of progress. I much prefer the idea that progress is cumulative. If you have a great April, then a whole week where you slip up in May, you still had 30 great days and 7 bad days. From there, it’s only up to you to start adding back to the “great day” total.
This simple mindset shift has helped me get back in the groove of habit-building after many rough days. Picture your growth as a big mason jar filled with coins. Just because you didn’t add a coin in today doesn’t mean you haven’t accumulated growth every other day. Tomorrow is another opportunity to drop in a coin.
I’d also challenge you to look at what caused you to slip in the first place. Dig a little deeper into the actions to avoid making the same mistake again. You said it was over the weekend. Do you think you indulged because you had a tough week and keeping the progress felt like too much work? Or do you think it was because you weren’t prepared with what to do instead of scrolling. It’s key to have your go-to list of things you’ll want to do.
After some steady time, you won’t have to refer to that list anymore. Those actions will become your new habits.
And guess what, you might slip up again. That’s okay. You are a human who makes mistakes. Give yourself a break, and start fresh tomorrow.
You’re retraining habits that have been instilled in you for years. You cannot expect miraculous change overnight or even just a month in. Keep your end goal in mind and give yourself grace.
Don’t waste time lamenting on the past. All you can do is look ahead to the future you dream of. It’s in your grasp.
It took me 5 times of attempting quitting smoking to quit for good. Each time I went back I hated it a little more and took less enjoyment out of it. Finally on my fifth time, I had my last cigarette and I was done. I never looked back. That was 20 years ago. Sometimes the first attempt at a new habit doesn’t take. So I look at it as practice. No effort is lost, you’re practicing.