Is having a good relationship with your phone "wellness"?
And if so, does that make it exclusive to the privileged?
If you’re anything like me, you’re still reeling from Sunday’s Season 3 finale of White Lotus. Don’t worry, no spoilers here. I won’t get into that ending. There’s another aspect of the show I want to discuss — wellness.
This season took place at a wellness resort in Thailand — complete with meditation, yoga, and a strong recommendation to lock away all screens and devices. Completing a digital detox was just another amenity of the resort.
It got me wondering — do we consider having a good relationship with technology on the same playing field as meditation, juice cleanses, collagen, and cold plunges? Is “phone health” wellness? And if it is, is it a good thing to put phone detoxes in the wellness category, or does it diminish the reality that having a healthy relationship with our phones should be a part of everyone’s reality?
Being well
Let me back-track and talk a bit about wellness. Wellness, quite simply, is defined as the state of being in good health, especially as an actively pursued goal. Essentially, at its core, it’s a basic tenet of being a human. We should all actively pursue being in good health.
The wellness industry capitalizes on this basic human goal. From the Global Wellness Institute: “Within a relatively short span of time, wellness has emerged globally as a dominant lifestyle value, driving consumer interest in exercise, healthy eating, self-care, mindfulness, stress reduction, healthy aging, complementary medicine, holistic health and other wellness practices.”
What does that growth look like? In 2023, the global wellness market was estimated at $6.3 trillion, a statistic that is projected to grow to $9 trillion by 2028 (Global Newswire).
If I’m being optimistic, this could be a good thing. We are taking control of our own health and investing back in ourselves. But, of course, it’s not so simple. In fact, the wellness industry has gotten out of hand.
Wellness as a privilege
What do you think of when you hear wellness? Probably not the basics — eating well, moving your body, getting outdoors, taking care of your health, listening to your body. These are all things with a fairly low-cost entry (although, I won’t get into 2025 food costs). But what actually makes up the wellness industry? Fitness centers, pilates and yoga studios, meditation retreats, wearable health tech, organic skincare, organic beauty products, spa treatments, acupuncture, sound baths, red light therapy, sound deprivation tanks, reiki, saunas, cold plunges, supplements, electrolytes, nutritionists….Shall I continue? Because I could go-on. Though, I think you get the idea.
These are all things that cost time and money to invest in, not to mention the mental energy to determine what exactly are the right things to add to your life.
What I’m saying is this: Wellness has become expensive. To invest in wellness (which means to invest in your own health), is to have the money and the privilege to do so. And the more privileged it becomes to invest in your own health, the more unattainable it will appear to the average person.
Elle, Life Observed describes the experience:
“When you think of wellness, it conjures an imagery of perfectly sculpted bodies, matcha lattes and a matching athleisure set. My algorithm is filled with videos telling me how to ‘become THAT girl, ‘enter your Pilates era’, and so on. One thing it all has in common is that these influencers comprise majority white Caucasian women, with stable employment who aren’t burdened by the struggle of day-to-day survival.”
And I particularly liked Joan Westenberg’s take in her essay, “How did wellness become the privilege of the wealthy?”
“As a society, we’ve turned “wellness” into a commodity — complete with status symbols, exclusivity, and privilege. The very word conjures up images of celebrity-approved diets, $200 yoga pants, and mindfulness retreats in Byron Bay. For those with means, the pursuit of wellness can become an obsession. For everyone else, it’s an impossible dream that we’re violently shamed for not living up to…This aspirational wellness lifestyle elevated in magazines and social media feeds is out of reach for most people. And it promotes the mindset that true wellness requires not just hard work but opening your wallet wide.”
A new wellness category - digital detoxes
Seeing how the wellness industry has evolved, I can see the natural progression of including digital detoxes in the category. For starters, it’s inherently a healthy choice to make, but further, it goes against the grain, and most key here – it can feel unattainable to the general public.
Simply “disconnecting” isn’t an option that most people can make. Switching to a dumbphone might sound alluring, but when faced with the reality of living life without ride share, banking, grocery delivery, maps, e-mail and other convenience apps, it quite simply doesn’t seem possible. I frequently see posts lauding celebrities who don’t have smartphones (famously Woody Harrelson, Tom Cruise, and Elton John, among others). The reality is, this are a very privileged group of people who can hire full teams to manage the tasks that they need to get done. I’m not saying you can’t get a dumbphone unless you’re rich, but you have to have a very specific lifestyle and career.
Then, you see digital detox retreats or wellness centers that feature a digital detox as one of their amenities. First of all, while I am always happy to see people taking a break from their phones, especially on vacation, I don’t believe digital detoxes in this form are effective. Taking a week-long break from your smartphone while you’re enjoying spa amenities, lounging by the pool, and sipping green juice sounds quite lovely, but it’s not the real world. In the real world, you’re going to be faced with routine, with monotony, with triggers for old habits.
I’d warrant that most “digital detoxes” tied into vacations will likely just lead you right back where you started. I’m sure there are benefits – opening your eyes to your own compulsions, maybe a shift in your own mindset – but ultimately, it’s a fantasy.
Further, who is going on these retreats? I priced out some of the resorts I found and you’re looking at anything between $8k - $30k for a one-week stay. This doesn’t include flights or additional services or meals, etc. This is the accommodation only.
It’s not cheap. It’s not attainable for most people.
How can we take privilege out of it?
I worry that the more that digital detoxes and phone-free lives are touted by the uber-rich and privileged, the more unrealistic it seems that the average person can have a healthy relationship with technology. They likely scoff at the idea of wellness when they’re truly just trying to survive.
Joann Westburg continues in her essay:
If wellness remains narrowly defined as something we purchase, the inequity will only grow. It’s time to rethink the notion that wellness equals wealth.
True wellness springs from connection, compassion, rest, and resilience. It’s found through affordable nutrition, accessible healthcare, economic empowerment, and embracing our shared humanity. It’s experienced when all people have the opportunity to make choices that allow them to thrive, not just survive.
The fact of the matter is we all need to spend less time on our phones. When the average time spent on our phones is 4-6 hours, depending on the source, it’s a problem. We should be striving towards having a healthier relationship with the technology we are using.
It doesn’t have to be a $20k vacation in Malibu that gets you there. You don’t have to throw your smartphone in the trash. It can be just as attainable as any other habit change you’re hoping to make.
And while we’re at it, let’s rethink wellness. We can all make healthy changes in our lives without getting overwhelmed by the classes and the products and the courses and the retreats. We can resist the capitalistic forces that are implying that health is only for the wealthy. Health and wellness are a human right. And your relationship with technology is a piece of that puzzle.
Wellness starts within, with the choices you make every day. Just begin.
That's a really good point about how a one-week detox from your phone isn't going to do a lot. I feel like living without your phone is beneficial from your health when you're able to integrate it into your daily routine (which obviously isn't an option for many people), not when you just take a break but don't have to truly rearrange your life to be without it.
Enjoyed reading this, thank you.