Quick Question with Rachel Kastner
From Instagram-viral to deleting social media: Why Rachel walked away from it all.
Today, I’m continuing my interview series,“Quick Question” where I interview different people from all types of backgrounds on their own relationship with technology, social media, and their smartphones (or lack thereof). We are all on our own unique journey, and it can be so valuable to hear how others navigate the (sometimes murky) waters we are swimming in. I hope you enjoy!
When I started writing on Substack, I thought it would be a productive way to make sense of everything swirling through my head. I was struggling with my relationship with the Internet and my smartphone, and I was looking for a way to process it all. And it did become that. It also became something more — a community. Instead of simply authoring a one-sided newsletter, I found I was having real, thoughtful conversations with like-minded people. One in particular, was Rachel Kastner.
Rachel reached out to me on dms, and we later moved to email where we had some really thought-provoking conversations (which, side note, I love a good e-mail penpal. It’s very 2008-2012). She is profoundly inspiring and the type of person you immediately know is a force to be reckoned with.
When you read her story, you’ll understand what I mean. I’ll let her tell it in her own words. Trust me — it’s a good one. So, without further ado, today’s guest, Rachel Kastner of Unfollowed.
You have a unique story. You worked in social media and achieved a bit of virality before throwing it all away. Can you tell us a bit about that?
Yeah! Let me see how I can sum this up succinctly. Let’s start with the fact that both professionally and personally, I used to spend a lot of time online. Not just being online, but creating content. I have always had a hypothesis - that stories can change hearts and minds and make us more empathetic, resilient and confident. I started by making documentaries. When I was 18 I produced a full length documentary about my grandfather, Karl, who is a Holocaust survivor. In it, we travel back to Poland together to retrace his survival story. I would bring The Barn to schools, universities, churches, colleges, and more and give a talk as well as a screening. We specifically produced it for middle and high school age. I still do this, by the way. But a few years ago, I started realizing that many teenagers really couldn’t pay attention to a full length documentary without checking their phones in the middle. I remember being at a school and seeing it happen, and at first feeling so offended; but then I realized how little control they had over this addiction. That moment set me in a new direction: How can we use short form content specifically to do the same mission? For years, I was producing social impact digital content with brands and creators. I’ve produced content, across projects, that’s reached 500,000,000 views. I chose stories and missions that mattered to me.
For example, How to: Never Forget was a 10 part docuseries about Holocaust education on TikTok. Were nominated for a Webby, and it was seen tens of millions of times. I really thought this was the “right” way to do social media. And for me, it felt really fulfilling.
I also live in Tel Aviv and was here during October 7th. I was so scared on that day, personally for my own life and also for my friends and family. It was my natural reaction, as a storyteller, to just pick up my phone and start recording. I tried share what it was like on the ground during the war. It’s impossible to truly convey and understand it from afar. But - I tried.
I shared stories about October 7, but always trying to do so from a humanity focused lens. My goal was never to promote fear or hatred. I wanted to share the stories people didn’t expect to hear. The ones that make you think twice. A Palestinian Israeli doctor who was almost killed by Hamas after he tried to go save people under attack. An Israeli woman who dedicated her life to peace, who was murdered. A mother in Gaza separated from her two children because she happened to be abroad visiting family, and her struggle to reunite with them. I knew that the Internet was about to become a very dark place. I made a commitment to focusing on humanity-centered, empathy inducing stories. I really believe in humanity’s capacity for hope and I wanted to embolden that.
What happened was that my personal instagram suddenly started growing like crazy. I think people were so inundated with dreadful content, wherever they were in the world and whatever “side” they leaned towards - that some people were moved by, and towards content that was hopeful.
I remember one weekend - I’m Sabbath observant, so I’m offline for 24 hours every weekend (by the way, the best thing ever), and I remember one Saturday night that I turned my phone back on - and I saw that Amy Schumer had reposted me. And then Jack Black followed. Sarah Silverman. Many others with millions of followers. I remember feeling this sense of responsibility. What I was sharing from the ground was going to reach people with major platforms.
In late 2023, I became founding CEO of a social media venture called Builders of the Middle East, focused on making non-extremist content go viral. It was a nonprofit. We brought together Israelis and Palestinians, Jews, Christians and Arabs together to create viral brands that would promote these values, at a time that it felt like social media was becoming more and more extreme.
Both the growth of my own Instagram and the company were signals to me. Signals that people really were starving for hopeful and empathetic content. But after over a year of working closely with the platforms, I also learned that the platforms were not incentivized to promote content that makes its users feel hopeful or gain nuanced opinions on complicated issues. The most enraging content is the most engaging, or the most mind numbing. Everything needs to be packaged to push buttons. Everything is about eyeballs and screen time. A few pieces of good content here and there, it felt like we were trying to boil an ocean. The more time I spent online, the less hopeful I felt. The news. Social media. It was working - even on me! I also saw how violence online was literally translating to violence in the streets. I had been contemplating taking a sabbatical away from work before the war, but especially after this, I was very burnt out. In late 2024, I decided to step down from my role, and to take time off to travel with my husband and heal. Part of that healing, I knew, had to be time offline.
Did you ever have any regrets taking a hiatus from social media?
It’s been 9 months off of social media. I don’t regret at all, taking the time offline. It completely rewired my brain. It definitely took some getting used to.
Some of the biggest positives:
I can focus now for longer periods of time and am much more productive with my clients, teams or projects I’m leading, or even just when I’m with friends.
I’ve been able to read again! I read 36 books while I was traveling.
I regained all the in between moments… At the moment when you’re waiting for a bus, or waiting for a friend, order just walking down the street with your dog.
I definitely have less FOMO. And I definitely feel less anxious and fearful. I’m really proud of my team at Builders of the Middle East, who have continued to share the stories through the war, and I know that they are continuing to have an impact. But, I’m also really grateful to not be inundated with political and war focused content on a daily basis. I feel so much lighter without hearing everyone’s political opinion, or seeing fake news drowning my feed.
There are new questions, too:
Do I want to go back online? If so, how? I’m contemplating how to come back online in ways that feel authentic, but also preserve my space that I’ve created for myself to think more deeply, critically, and calmly.
How do you build a community online that is real, and brings value to every person as opposed to “taking” from them?
Is there something redeeming about using social media ‘for good’?
Can you contribute to social without being a part of the flywheel of the problem?
For now. I started writing essays at Unfollowed, about these topics and more. For anyone thinking about how to engage with being online and the ‘real world’ without losing themselves to it. How can we all maintain our own agency and make better habits around technology use? Social media can be really useful, but the way that they’re built is not optimized for your benefit. You have to work really hard and very intentionally to be sure that you are using social media and it is not using you. That’s what I’m sharing about on my Substack and why I love Break Free From the Internet!
What does your relationship with social media look like now?
To be decided. I haven’t yet gone back to regular usage. Surprisingly, my life feels very full without it. I wonder where I had all the time to be online. But sometimes, I do miss sharing stories. I don’t miss consuming though, at all. I think everyone should have a purpose of why they use social media. It should be individual to everyone. For me, social media is a tool for sharing, not consuming.
So: I unfollowed almost everyone on social who I didn’t intimately know. Even my close friends, I ‘muted’ their stories. I have other ways of keeping up to date with my friends. In fact, I feel like my relationships have become much much deeper. It takes more effort to speak to people directly to know what’s going on their lives when you can’t watch their stories. But it’s also much more real.
Have you taken steps to separate yourself from your phone or the internet outside of social media?
I continue to observe Shabbat. It is the best thing ever. I highly recommend anybody to try I… Every week, since I’m a kid, I don’t use technology for 25 hours. It starts Friday at sundown and ends on Saturday at sundown. This is the reset for my week. So I’ll continue with this.
Other than that, yes. I got rid of every notification type on my phone. I deleted many apps. I try to save the “big things for big screens”; meaning, if there’s a big task that I need to do - pay a bill, or if I want to check the news (which can be big deal where I live) , I try to wait until I’m with a computer screen. My phone is on airplane mode at night, and it’s charged outside of the bedroom. Sometimes, I make use of grayscale too. I also try to take a walk with my dog without my phone every day. Even five minutes.
Any advice for folks who are navigating their own relationships with the internet?
Yes. What and how you consume online is how you will feel. We should all be engaging in better digital diet habits - what you watch and engage with really matters. Your phone and the Internet and your social media is all meant to serve you. If it’s not making you feel good, making you feel hopeful, or inspired or motivated - get rid of it. You don’t owe anyone a follow, a like, or your time.
Also, awareness. Make it a habit to know what your screen time is. It’s not the best measure, but it’s available on every phone. For me, it’s really important that my pedometer hits 15,000 steps a day. As soon as I started paying attention to my pedometer, I was able to increase my step count. It’s the same with screen time. I’d be upset if I didn’t walk around and move my body. I also have goals around screen time (and phone pickups! That stat is super important as well)
Share with your loved ones (friends, family, partners) that you’re trying to make a change with those habits. First of all, it’s inspiring. Even just noting to a friend why you are putting your phone in your bag while sitting down for coffee instead of face down on the table (it makes a difference to how you will interact with each other). This is a chain reaction, and we need to inspire each other in our own lives and small circles.
Rachel Kastner is a seasoned startup operator, builder and storyteller who spends a lot of time thinking, talking and learning about how we live with devices and technology. She’s the author of Unfollowed, a newsletter helping people rethink their relationship with phones, dopamine, and digital noise—and take small steps toward a more grounded, fulfilling life. She'd love for you to follow and read it :)
Rachel has spent the last decade building brands and leading teams across consumer tech, social impact media, and health startups. Most recently, she served as the founding CEO of a global social media initiative combating online extremism in the Middle East. Today, she advises early-stage startups on brand, storytelling, and communications—especially those working to make the internet healthier and more humane.
Originally from New York, Rachel now lives in Tel Aviv with her husband and one very enthusiastic dog.