A letter to the old me.

A brutally honest letter to a past version of myself.

We’re coming up on one-year of life without Instagram and maybe seven months since I started shedding the rest of my bad phone habits. It had me thinking about how long I had wanted to make these changes (honestly, nearly a decade) before I really felt ready, whatever that means.

I don’t make it a practice to live in regret, but I have to admit, it seems silly that I waited so long. The excuses that I made to keep engaged in a habit that I abhorred were, well, just that — excuses.

So, I thought I’d write a letter to the old me. Maybe as a cathartic way to shed any lingering regret that I waited so long. Maybe as a helpful kick in the pants to anyone who is in the same boat I was a year ago, two years ago, five years ago.

And with that, a letter to myself, the old me.

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Dear me,

Yes you. Let me take a minute of your time. Yes, without your phone. Please put down the phone. Turn it over okay? You don’t need to see any notifications right now.

Let me ask you a question — what’s your worst habit right now?

Yes, yes I know. It’s your phone. Don’t roll your eyes. If they haven’t already, they’ll come up with a term for that — it’s called “doomscrolling.” Apt right?

Here’s the thing — it seems insurmountable right now, but the habit is really not hard to break. It’s like tackling that tiny thing on your to-do list that lingers there for months but only takes 5 minutes.

Okay, it will take you longer than 5 minutes, but the sentiment is the same.

Shh…you’re already making excuses? Quit it.

But I need social media as inspiration and networking.

You don’t. You live in New York City. Get out in the world and look around you. Oh, you’re back in your hometown? Guess what, you have museums and art galleries and creative people abound there too. You will get more from the world by being immersed in it than you can ever get from a 10 second video, from a carousel of images.

But news breaks faster on social media than even the news outlets.

Are you a reporter? Do you need to know the news as soon as it breaks? What benefit is there to being the first to know? Let me tell you the benefit of learning about it after it breaks — you can actually learn all of the facts instead of merely reading the headline. You can get closer to the truth without manufacturing an assumption about what happened. You can let the reporters report.

There’s a lot of useful information on social media. I get a lot out of learning little tricks and DIY projects!

How many of those projects do you really do vs how many do you just save in a folder? I can’t hear you…

But I use my phone for more than social media. It’s my banking, my car service, my security system.

You don’t have to give that stuff up. Those are tools. They are not excuses to spend 5 hours + a day on your phone.

My job is demanding. I have to get email and Slack notifications. I have to keep up with what’s relevant.

You can do these things and you can set boundaries. Check your email, then put down your phone. Read the trade pubs instead of relying on social media to keep up with your industry. I guarantee if you put your mind to it you can find a way.

I just want to unwind sometimes.

You’re not unwinding. You’re fraying your nervous system. You’re looking at other people’s lives and wishing you had what they had. You’re chasing a dopamine hit while scrolling through pointless content. You’re seeking validation in the empty form of a “like.”

Unwind with a book. Unwind with a phone conversation with your best friend. Unwind by daydreaming. Unwind by going for a walk. Unwind by writing. Unwind by snuggling your dog. Unwind by playing cards with your boyfriend. Unwind by doing a crossword puzzle (they make physical crossword puzzles you know!). You deserve more.

It feels big. And it is. You’re probably spending 5-6 hours a day on your phone. Maybe Apple hasn’t introduced the Screentime feature yet so you don’t even know that. Do the math — that’s 35 hours a week, nearly a full-time job. That’s 6 and a half FULL days a month spent on your phone. I know, sometimes it’s Google Maps, sometimes it’s Spotify, but a lot of times, it’s not.

Changing these habits sounds impossible, but I promise you it’s not. Delete the apps you’re spending the most time on and find something physical to do instead. Keep your email notifications on for work, if you must, but make it a rule that you check the email and then you close your phone – don’t go to other apps. When you are outside of working hours (rare, I know), leave your phone at home!

You have one life on this planet, a finite number of trips around the sun. Quit wasting it staring at a box, staring at other people’s lives. If you’re going to stare at something, stare at art, stare at nature, stare at the people walking outside your window and imagine up lives for them.

I will tell you this — one day, in the future, you will rid all of these habits. You’ll be a different person for it. A happy person, a light person, a free person.

Don’t use this as an excuse to keep on with the same habits. Use this as motivation to be that person tomorrow. It’s within your grasp, I promise you.

Take back control of your phone, take back control of your life.

Love,

You